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Do Your Kids Lose It When You Say “NO”?
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Do your little ones have a really hard time hearing the word “No”?
To be fair, it’s hard to be told you can’t have something you really, really, really want (even as adults its hard to take the letdown of being told you can’t have something you want!)
One of the easiest ways to deal with delivering the message of “No” to your kids is to re-frame your response in a way that gives you the ability to say “No” without telling them they can’t have what they want.
The key here is focusing on how they CAN have what they want.
So for example,
“Mum, can I have a chocolate?”
“Chocolate is a special treat. You can have one on the weekend”
“Mum, can I watch the iPad?”
“You can watch the iPad after dinner”
..and so on for whatever it is your child is asking for.
But what if your child really really can’t have what they are asking for?
Well, that’s the time when it is appropriate and completely OK to say No. Saying “No” and helping your child work through the emotions they will experience when you do say “No” is actually really important.
If your child has never heard “No” from you and has to learn how to manage the emotions they will experience outside the safety and comfort you can provide them with, then they are going to really have a hard time hearing “No” for the first time outside of the home.
Let’s face it – there will absolutely be times when you will need to say “No”. I’m talking about when something is unsafe or inappropriate for the situation they are in, for example.
The idea with re-framing “No”, is to avoid saying “No” constantly – this will help your child better manage hearing “No” when you really do have to say it, and when you do have to say “No” they will know you mean it (because you haven’t just said “NO” to every single thing they have asked for all day long).
Lastly – it will also help reduce the amount your child says “NO” to you as well (they are our little copy-cat models after all) so the less they hear “No” from us… the less likely they are to say it back 😉
If you have the chance to try this technique out I’d love to hear how you go (comment at the bottom of this page or pop an email through to me email@example.com)!
Before you go, make sure you scroll down to check out my FREEBIE to help you introduce CALMING TECHNIQUES to your little ones!
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