Alternatives to Punishment

If your child’s behaviour has been inappropriate, engage them in a conversation as to what the consequences should be (they can decide, with your guidance).

For example, if your child has broken their siblings toy, you might engage them in a conversation as to what led to the toy being broken (imagine in this situation the child was angry at their sibling for not letting them play with the toy when they wanted, so they snatched it off their sibling and smashed it on the ground).

Discuss with the child what they think should happen as a consequence (it might be something along the lines of an apology to the sibling and using their own pocket money to purchase a new toy – you may need to prompt your child to reach this conclusion).

Using this approach consistently over time can help your child to develop an understanding of an internal motivation for taking responsibility for their own behaviour.