We Don’t Fight …and It’s Because I Know My Place

It’s because my place is as an equal contributor in our household (my husband also knows his place, as the comedian who came up with that title).

In all seriousness, my husband and I rarely disagree on anything. I know a lot of people say that arguments are part of a healthy relationship. I don’t disagree with that. I just know that we don’t really have any, and I know our relationship is perfectly healthy too.

Why don’t we argue over things? I don’t know, maybe it’s because we don’t have kids, maybe it’s because we’re both passive-aggressive and avoid confrontation, or maybe it’s something else entirely.

There are certain things we do that I think make a difference, and I can’t say for a fact that this is why it works for us, but I’ll share them with you anyway (just in case).

1. We talk to each other.

   Every day. Usually, we turn the TV off and sit at the dining room table and have dinner together. Sometimes, if we both have time, I’ll cook us breakfast and we’ll sit down and chat then too.

2. We go on trips together.

   At least once a year we will go away on holiday overseas or a short break down south and just spend time together. We will invariably talk about our grand plans for the future and our ultimate goal to sail around the world on our yacht.

3. We give each other feedback.

   It’s just a normal part of daily life for us. We give each other feedback on everything from the meal we’ve eaten at breakfast or dinner to the way I’ve folded the socks (anyone who knows Sam will know he’s very particular in how he likes his socks folded… hehe). But really, we’re always open to suggestions from each other as to how we can do things differently or better, and we take them on board.

4. Lastly, it may come down to the fact that neither of us has a habit of raising our voices.

   It is not often that we will disagree with each other about something, but when we do, neither of us carry’s on about it. We listen to each other’s point of view, say what we think and move on. We’ve been together for over 6 years now and in all that time have never raised voices at each other. I hope that the things I listed above will continue for the next 60 years, but the kids are yet to come so… we’ll see.

How about you?

Do you and your partner argue a lot? Do your arguments help to strengthen your relationship? Do you wish you had other ways of dealing with issues so that you didn’t yell and scream? Look forward to hearing how things work for you!