The Pregnant Pause

The Pregnant Pause

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The Pregnant Pause

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The Pregnant Pause

I’ve mentioned a few times that I don’t see any sense in “taking a break”.

I feel like, after more than 18 months of “not” having a baby (not a living one anyway) and 4 miscarriages, at the age of 31 (and getting scarily close to 32) I’ve really got no time to waste.

Except it dawned on me recently that I would most likely be just pregnant at Christmas time.

It’s like clock-work. It only ever takes 2 cycles and the timing has not failed me yet… which brings about my dilemma.

The Christmas season is always full of parties, rich food (fresh prawns!!) and plenty of alcohol… and I wonder whether I want to miss out on all that, given that the chances of another failed pregnancy are pretty high.

The main problem is… I won’t know whether the pregnancy has failed or not until after Christmas.

So, what do I do?

Take my chances and hope I don’t get pregnant this time around?

Take my chances, assuming I’ll get pregnant and just really, really, really hope this one sticks?

Take my chances, knowing that I might miss out on all the Christmas fun AND have to deal with the fall out of another failed pregnancy?

Or

Actively try not to get pregnant, enjoy the Christmas break, and then… what?

It’s not like I can predict whether getting pregnant down the track or not will happen (it’s much easier to get pregnant immediately after a miscarriage than it is at any other time).

ARGH.

I don’t know the answer.

I feel like I’m going to be miserable either way.

It’s difficult to explain, but when you experience recurrent miscarriage, you feel deflated when you find out you’re pregnant… and if you aren’t pregnant, you feel outrageously disappointed too. It’s like a lose-lose scenario every time.

On the other hand, I figure I’ll feel yucky either way… the difference between being pregnant and having a  Christmas hang-over is pretty much… nothing.

Whether you’re feeling yucky from all-day-pregnancy-sickness, or yucky from eating and drinking too much, it’s pretty much the same feeling, so what does it matter!? LOL!

So… I figure I’m not going to over-think it anymore.

I'll just see what happens and hope for the best.

Until next time… feel free to share your thoughts. What would you do?

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Non-Pregnant Girls Just Wanna Have…

Non-Pregnant Girls Just Wanna Have...

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Non-Pregnant Girls Just Wanna Have...

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Non-Pregnant Girls Just Wanna Have...

Food and wine of course!

(what did you think I was going to say??)

I know I tend to mainly talk about pregnancy and all related topics on this blog, and while I do feel like I spend half of my life pregnant these days, that’s not the only thing I’m all about.

When my pregnancy status is set to “not bearing womb fruit” we tend to spend a fair portion of our time travelling, eating and drinking.

So, I thought it might be worth sharing some of the fun stuff we get up to in those “non-pregnant” months (where I do seriously make the most of my non-pregnant status).

Over the past couple of months, we have been up to Broome (up North of Western Australia) and down to Margaret River (down south of Western Australia, in the wine region).

We have also gotten up to some fun stuff around our beautiful home town of Perth too, so to start with I’d really like to share our recent adventures which have included sampling Duck & Pinot at our favourite restaurant (BWG Steakhouse) and all the fun we had at the The Good Food and Wine Show last weekend.

So to kick us off, the Duck & Pinot story...

I may have already mentioned that BWG Steakhouse is our favourite restaurant. Sam and I are complete suckers for that place. At least once a fortnight we both turn to each other and go

“what would you like for dinner”

“steak”

“me too”

“should we try somewhere new or…”

“let’s go to BWG”

And then within 2 seconds I’m on the phone getting a reservation.

I’m not sure whether to be impressed or embarrassed that when I call and say “Hey, it’s Dominique” they seem to know who I am and what table I want to sit at…

This place seriously has some of the best service I have come across in Perth (if you’re from Perth you probably know our city it notorious for terrible service!) and the food is always spot on.

Their amazing steaks are the main reason we go there (plus, from time to time I like to order this sneaky “Spiced Mojito” …it’s not on the menu, but if you ask for it they’ll definitely make it for you 😉) but I digress, what I really wanted to let you know about was their Duck & Pinot night.

On our most recent visit for a steak, the Manager mentioned to us that they were holding a “Duck & Pinot” night and asked us if it would be the kind of thing we would be interested in. We were told that the general premise was 6 courses of duck all matched with delicious wines throughout the evening.

We thought it sounded like pretty good value, but as we had been on a couple of degustation’s already within the last month or so (at Wildflower in the city and Knee Deep in Margaret River… but those are stories for a different time) we weren’t sure if we really needed another night of eating and drinking.

But seriously, who were we kidding?? (It’s not about needing it’s about wanting when it comes to food and drink, right!?)

Somewhere along the way, Sam mentioned the Duck & Pinot night to our family and the next minute all 5 of us were planning to head down to BWG for the evening!

There was quite a lead-up to the night. My sister-in-law and I started it off by having this silly text-war over what we were wearing.

It started with her sending me a text (about 3 days prior to the evening… I can be useless answering messages sometimes) telling me that she had a new dress for the evening.

Prior to the evening (during the day on Thursday, the night we were going out) I text her back saying “me too!”, to which she (as only a loving sister can) proceeded to question whether I had in fact purchased my dress before she had, to which I assured her that I HAD in fact purchased my dress on Sunday, and of course, had decided WAY prior to that day, that I was wearing it that evening.

We declared #dresscompover and I suspected we were never going to speak of it again.

So anyway, I was in the Uber with Sam when my evening kicked off with this text:

Obviously, one can not just leave their bubbles to be lonely in such a manner, so I hurried along into the restaurant, only to find my sister-in-law beaming at me and then bursting out laughing as it dawned on both of us at the same time that we were wearing

The.

Same.

Dress!

HA!
 
To be wearing pretty much the same thing is funny, but when you’ve had a text-war about it only a few hours earlier it’s pretty freaking hilarious! An event like this obviously calls for a bathroom selfie…

Duck and Pinot Night

 Thank goodness we had both chosen different colours!

Anyway, for those of you who care more about food than our silly dress war, don’t worry I am actually going to talk about the food, which was amazing by the way…

Duck and Pinot Menu

Starting with Crepe’s and fried qual egg, I was surprised just how tasty this dish was. This is the first time I can remember eating qual egg and even though it was fried (I pretty much only eat my eggs poached or scrambled… fried yolk always tastes weird to me for some reason) I thought it was delicious!

Second course was the Duck liver parfait. I am a massive lover of Duck Liver Pate and this course didn’t disappoint.

The third course was actually my favourite over all. Pan friend gnocci with wild mushrooms, duck ragu and Manjimup truffle. The gnocci was amazing and even though I don’t like mushrooms, I barely even noticed them as the combination of all the flavours together was just perfect. If I could order this dish again I definitely would!

By the fourth course (which I think was technically 2 courses) I was getting pretty full. Both the duck leg and the duck breast were delicious (I didn’t even mind the brussel sprouts) and this dish was Sam’s favourite of the night. I was so full already that I just tasted a little and then handed the rest over to my father-in-law who seemed pretty happy to finish it off for me!

Lastly, we finished the evening with camembert soufflé… (in case you were wondering what the rest of that word was in the picture... I know, taking photos is not my strong suit)! I’ll admit it wasn’t my favourite dessert, but as you know I was really full by that stage, so I think I may have a different opinion of it under other circumstances.

All in all, an awesome night with great food, delicious wine and some of our favourite company 😉

Just quietly, I know I said I was going to share our Good Food and Wine Show experience, but... I fear I may have rambled on a little too much already, so I'll save that for another day 😉

Until next time, I would love to know, where is your favourite place to eat? Have you had an awesome wine paired meal lately that you would recommend? Are you like me and like to make the most of your "non-pregnant" status while you can?

Let us know in the comments below!

 


Before you go, have you or someone you know experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility?

Throughout the month of October, we will be sharing stories to raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with these "taboo" topics.

Check out this post for more info on how you can share your story.



Looking for child behaviour strategies? Click here to access to all our strategies from infancy through to the teenage years. Make sure you register here first!

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The Most Relaxing Way to Conceive

The Most Relaxing Way to Conceive

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The Most Relaxing Way to Conceive

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The Most Relaxing Way to Conceive

Is there a relaxing way to conceive?

I’m not really sure about that, and I’m not too sure what you were hoping to hear (or see!) when you clicked on this link, but I’m definitely not using this post to discuss the in’s and out’s of conception (Ha!)

But now that I’ve got your attention, I just wanted to take the opportunity to talk about pre-conception meditations.

Is that even a thing? Do they work? Can pre-conception meditations actually help you conceive?

I don’t know.

Honestly, I hadn’t heard about “pre-conception meditation” until a couple of months ago, so I’m not too sure about the benefits, but since I do find, in general, that daily meditations are helpful in getting my mind settled as well as reducing any feelings of stress or anxiety I may be experiencing, that it couldn’t hurt to give it a go.

At the very least, I find meditation does help get me prepared for the day so I can work more productively.

You may remember a while back, I shared my favourite pregnancy meditations and then after miscarriage number 3, I shared a few general daily meditations that I found helped to reduce the stress and anxiety I was experiencing.

Not too long after that I saw some “pre-conception” meditations flash across my screen as suggested video’s I might like to watch on YouTube. I wasn’t really in the frame of mind for them then, so now that I’m feeling much more relaxed and recovered from our last miscarriage, I thought I would check a few out and see what they are like.

After doing a bit of a search, I found there are some really kooky one’s out there that I just did not feel comfortable doing at all. But lucky there were a few I quite liked the sound of, and thought would be worth giving a go through the week.

This first one is probably my favourite. I particularly like the voice in the video and I don’t get that “weird” vibe off it like I did with some of the others I listened to.

The bit I’m not so keen on is where she talk's about connecting with your “soul baby”, but I think some people might like it and be able to relate. I do like how the overall tone is positive and easy to listen to.

It is a little bit longer than my preferred 10 minute max for meditations, but I think this one is worth waiting out the extra few minutes:

I really like what this next one has to say, particularly the positive thoughts and affirmations, but I’m not a huge fan of the voice or the “ahhhh” sound the speaker makes after talking through each chakra and affirmation.

It is only 6 minutes long, so I like that it is quite short and to the point. So if you can get through it with an open mind and without giggling at the “ahhhh” you might enjoy this one.

Lastly, this one isn’t really a meditation, but it is a series of positive affirmations paired with music that I quite enjoyed reading and I found, did help to give different perspectives on things associated with fertility and visualising a future healthy pregnancy.

To follow along with these meditations any time, and to check out new ones as I add them, head over to our youtube playlist.

So, after all that, do I really think these meditations will help us make a baby in the not so distant future?

Honestly, I highly doubt it, but I think for what it’s worth I do enjoy doing daily meditations and it can’t hurt to mix up the tone of my meditations for a week or so, can it!?

Until next time, what do you think?

Have you ever tried pre-conception meditations? Did they work for you? Do you have another “get pregnant quickly” remedy that is fool-proof and worked for you?

Alternatively, do you just enjoy general daily meditations like me?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!


Before you go, have you or someone you know experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility?

Throughout the month of October, we will be sharing stories to raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with these "taboo" topics.

Check out this post for more info on how you can share your story.



Looking for child behaviour strategies? Click here to access to all our strategies from infancy through to the teenage years. Make sure you register here first!

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Why We Won’t Take a Break

Why We Won't Take a Break

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Why We Won't "Take a Break"

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Why We Won't "Take a Break"

I’ve heard this (no doubt well-meaning) advice from people many times.

People said it to me after the first miscarriage, the second miscarriage and more than ever after the third miscarriage. I was overwhelmed by some people almost insisting that we “take a break” before trying to get pregnant again.

I find it a little crazy that people feel that they are somehow qualified to dish out medical advice on a topic they don’t really know anything about.

The funny thing is, after my second miscarriage, I said to our OB that I was considering taking a break as we had enrolled in a sailing course and I was a little worried about the strain on my ab’s (in the event that I could be pregnant) from handling the ropes over the week.

He pretty much just said to me “You can if you want, but there’s really no need to. No amount of pressure on your ab’s is going to contribute to a miscarriage. It’s pretty much impossible to MAKE yourself have a miscarriage, so don’t worry about it”.

Hearing that (may I point out once more from an actual medical professional) really did help me make up my mind about doing away with the “taking a break” issue.

There are other reasons why we choose not to take a break though:

1. We don’t know how many pregnancies it will take before we have a successful pregnancy (there are some cases of people with balanced translocations who have had 12 or more miscarriages before having a successful pregnancy)

2. There isn’t a huge physical strain associated with recurrent miscarriage for me (Yes, there is emotional strain and there is always a recovery period but I do find that I feel “back to normal” relatively quickly from a physical point of view and I usually only have 2 days of “recovery” after each miscarriage)

3. I’m not getting any younger. I’m already 31, and as I said I don’t know how many miscarriages we will have before the odds swing in our favour. Imagine if we have to go through 12 or more miscarriages? Assuming 3 to 4 pregnancies are possible each year, that’s at least 3 to 4 years before a successful pregnancy. I could be over 35 or older before we even manage to have 1 child! What if we then decided to have another one? Still think it’s a good idea to “take a break”?

4. Chromosomes don’t care how many breaks you take. It’s not as if they que up in lines with the dodgy ones segregated to one side of the room and the good ones on the other and make a pact where the good chromosomes can be thrown ONLY after you “take a break”.

5. My OB say’s it’s OK. Sometimes I honestly wonder if people think I make random decisions without consulting a professional. I seriously don’t know how much more I can stress that taking a break Makes. No. Difference.

I shouldn’t have to justify our decision to anyone, but it frustrates me when I get the impression that people seem to think that as the female in this situation I somehow have control over doing “something different” in order to avoid a miscarriage in the future.

There is nothing I’m doing to cause it and there’s nothing I can do to prevent it and “taking a break” certainly isn’t going to achieve a different outcome.
 


Before you go, have you or someone you know experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility?

Throughout the month of October, we will be sharing stories to raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with these "taboo" topics.

Check out this post for more info on how you can share your story.



Looking for child behaviour strategies? Click here to access to all our strategies from infancy through to the teenage years. Make sure you register here first!

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What’s in a Name?

What's in a Name?

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What's in a Name?

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What's in a Name?

I mentioned last week that our family were getting together to go down south to the Margaret River wine region in Western Australia, for our annual family break away.

The general theme of these get togethers is to sample our favourite wines, taste new foods (we jump at the opportunity to indulge in a wine matched degustation or 3…) and generally just spend time chilling out together.

After one rather long day of wining and dining we were sitting around having a few drinks at the bar across from our room (luckily for us it’s within what we like to call “stumbling” distance, perfect to grab a couple of snacks and chill out with cheap drinks during happy hour after a long day of well… eating and drinking).

Sorry, I’m getting distracted (I blame the hazy memories of food and wine).

Anyway, we were sitting around chatting when the topic of baby names came up.

Sam and I have discussed potential baby names with our family numerous times and we’ve gone through phases of names we like and dis-like, but it has never really occurred to us before to check out what some of the meanings are for some of our favourite names.

While we never quite got around to deciding on any particular baby names we fancy, we thought it would be fun just to look up the names of our immediate family members to see what they mean.

We were seriously shocked (and rather amused) at some of the descriptions that came up, particularly the accuracy of some of them in describin gour personalities, which pretty much had all of us in stitches of laughter.

The names we looked up were:

Ron
April
Sam
Tarryn
Dominique
Peter
Sue

I’m going to share an excerpt of each the descriptions that we found, but I’m not going to say which was which…

We thought it would be kind of a fun game to share the descriptions with you and see if you can pick who is
who.

So, here goes:

Description 1:
“You like to control everyone with your influence, to shape things to your own liking. You are sensitive, affectionate, imaginative and cooperative, spiritually aware and prone to self-sacrifice. You can keep secrets and are a good diplomat.” Click here to read the full description.

Description 2:
“A very sweet and thoughtful guy... He can read others like a book and everyone looks to him for advice. He is dependable and looks out for those who are good friends to him. [He may] however, think too much and this gets [him] in trouble.” Click here to read the full description.

Description 3:
“Females of this name are from birth known to be very intelligent, funny, always on the go, great writers/storytellers and attractive…. If you are lucky enough to have made a friend named [this name], always remember that she has chosen you. Although they easily make friends, they are very picky with whom they share loyalty and true friendship.” Click here to read the full description.

Description 4:
“Stay on their good side. If you’re a man he can be your best friend or worst nightmare. If he is ambivalent towards you, embrace the fact that you are probably a loser. [This person] is powerful, charming, witty, honest and caring. Being family oriented, forward, clean, respectful and hardworking are some of the best things about [this person]. [This person] makes a great friend as they will tell you the truth whether you want it or not.” Click here to read the full description.

Description 5:
“Beautiful girl inside and out… shy at first, sometimes hard to get to know, great sense of humour, loves the finer things in life… master at everything she attempts, very creative, will rise above obstacles placed in her way, she is a find a way make a way kind of girl, she will surround herself with beautiful things.” Click here to read the full description.

Description 6:
“A really great guy who has many friends and many people love him. You can trust him with anything and everything! He is always there for his friends and can make you happy at the worst of times. He is one of those people that you can just get on with and easily spend a happy amount of time with.” Click here to read the full description.

Description 7:
“You are spiritually intense and can sting or charm. Your name brings love and new starts into life and attracts money. Emergencies may raise your intuitive abilities in order to resolve conflict or situation. You become very creative under the pressure, and have quite original ideas to make the best out of it. You desire to inspire and lead, to control other's affairs. You are giving, courageous and bold, action oriented, energetic and strong willed.” Click here to read the full description.

How did you go? Did you manage to match up the name with the description?

If you’re interested in learning more about name meanings, or finding out the meaning of your own name check out urbandictionary.com and sevenreflections.com

Have you ever looked up the meaning of your own name? Did you check the meaning of your baby’s name before you chose it?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!
 


Before you go, have you or someone you know experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility? Throughout the month of October, we will be sharing stories to raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with these "taboo" topics. Check out this post for more info on how you can share your story.



Looking for child behaviour strategies? Click here to access to all our strategies from infancy through to the teenage years. Make sure you register here first!

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