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The Pregnant Pause
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I’ve mentioned a few times that I don’t see any sense in “taking a break”.
I feel like, after more than 18 months of “not” having a baby (not a living one anyway) and 4 miscarriages, at the age of 31 (and getting scarily close to 32) I’ve really got no time to waste.
Except it dawned on me recently that I would most likely be just pregnant at Christmas time.
It’s like clock-work. It only ever takes 2 cycles and the timing has not failed me yet… which brings about my dilemma.
The Christmas season is always full of parties, rich food (fresh prawns!!) and plenty of alcohol… and I wonder whether I want to miss out on all that, given that the chances of another failed pregnancy are pretty high.
The main problem is… I won’t know whether the pregnancy has failed or not until after Christmas.
So, what do I do?
Take my chances and hope I don’t get pregnant this time around?
Take my chances, assuming I’ll get pregnant and just really, really, really hope this one sticks?
Take my chances, knowing that I might miss out on all the Christmas fun AND have to deal with the fall out of another failed pregnancy?
Actively try not to get pregnant, enjoy the Christmas break, and then… what?
It’s not like I can predict whether getting pregnant down the track or not will happen (it’s much easier to get pregnant immediately after a miscarriage than it is at any other time).
I don’t know the answer.
I feel like I’m going to be miserable either way.
It’s difficult to explain, but when you experience recurrent miscarriage, you feel deflated when you find out you’re pregnant… and if you aren’t pregnant, you feel outrageously disappointed too. It’s like a lose-lose scenario every time.
On the other hand, I figure I’ll feel yucky either way… the difference between being pregnant and having a Christmas hang-over is pretty much… nothing.
Whether you’re feeling yucky from all-day-pregnancy-sickness, or yucky from eating and drinking too much, it’s pretty much the same feeling, so what does it matter!? LOL!
So… I figure I’m not going to over-think it anymore.
I’ll just see what happens and hope for the best.
Until next time… feel free to share your thoughts. What would you do?
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