The 7-Year Itch

The 7-Year Itch

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The 7-Year Itch

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The 7-Year Itch

We have decided to celebrate our seventh anniversary by spending it with other people.

Sam has chosen my Mum and I have chosen his sister.

We know it’s a little unconventional, but we feel we have reached the point in our relationship where situations such as this have come about as a natural progression.

So how did we reach this point…?

7 years ago, on the first of July, Sam and I went on our first date. If memory serves me correctly he was about an hour late (he was clearly excited about the date) and I waited for him at the Claremont Hotel (yes, the safest place in Perth a female can wait for someone on their own…)

When he finally arrived, we decided to head down the street for a pizza and a beer. We shared the meal and then decided we were both up for a nightcap, so headed back over to the Claremont Hotel for a drink.

After that first date, we started seeing each other fairly regularly, and became what Sam used to jokingly call “weekends and special occasions”.

A few years later, when we went round to his friends’ house for a BBQ on a “week night” I think everyone knew it was getting serious 😉

Eventually we moved in together and then a few years after that we were married.

Earlier this year (about a year into our marriage) we started seeing ads on TV for the “7 year itch” and I had been joking with Sam that since we were on the brink of hitting that 7 year mark we would know all too soon what this "7 year itch" was all about.

So, fast forward to June and Sam starts talking about going up to visit my parents for a week to help build this wall at the front of the house. I’m taking a general interest in the project, but not paying all that much attention to the specifics such as dates or times, but I’m assuming I’ll go along with him (it is my family’s farm he’s visiting after all).

In the interim though, his sister and I have been planning a much-needed girls night, since we've really missed out on those out over the past year, so we get together and schedule a date for a night out that suits us both.

A few weeks later, Sam and I are discussing plans to head up to the farm. Sam wants to go on the 30th and I have a quick look at my calendar and notice I’ve got an appointment that afternoon and a girl’s night out scheduled on the 1st… when it hits me.

We’ve both made arrangements for the night of our “anniversary” and neither of us has noticed…

So that, I believe, is what they call the “7 Year Itch” …spending your anniversary with other people (whether you intended to or not!)

How about you? Do you go out of your way to celebrate anniversaries? Or are you like us and forget they are coming up and schedule time in to hang out with your in-laws instead?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences 😉
 


Before you go, have you or someone you know experienced miscarriage, stillbirth or infertility?

Throughout the month of October, we will be sharing stories to raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with these "taboo" topics.

Check out this post for more info on how you can share your story.



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Why Do I Have to Do Everything Around Here?

Why Do I Have to do Everything Around Here?

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Why Do I Have to do Everything Around Here?

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Why Do I Have to do Everything Around Here?

Sam and I take a fairly “traditional” approach when it comes to who does what around the house.

We’re not sure why this is or how it comes about. It could be that it’s the way our parents did things, so we just automatically fill those traditional roles as part of our natural course.

For example, I do (most of) the cooking, cleaning and washing. Sam mows the lawns, fixes things around the house, maintains the pool, chops the wood and builds anything that needs to be put together (no, we don’t try to assemble flat-packs together, everyone knows how that ends!)

Sometimes, Sam cooks and I maintain the pool.

Sam also has a tendency to leave stuff around the house, and I have a tendency to just pick it up, put it away (or as he says, “hide it from him”) and move on.

I know some people would have a problem with that. I also know that every female I’ve ever met has a man in their life who they pick up after.

Some of us whinge about it, and others just accept it for what it is.

I can’t remember who said it to me, but it’s one of the best pieces of advice I’ve heard, and I often share it with my girlfriends

"The sooner you accept that you have to pick up their stuff, the easier your life will be."

You can disagree with me and say it’s sexist and all of that stuff, and that’s fine (I wouldn’t disagree with you!) but once I heard that statement I asked myself “would you rather squabble about something that isn’t going to change or just accept it and move on?”

In saying all of this, Sam and I don’t actually think that the male and female should automatically assume traditional roles within the household. Ultimately, we think it doesn’t really matter who does what around the house so long as there is an equal distribution of tasks (e.g. if one person works more than the other, the other person picks up more of the slack around the house) and we really think that’s the way it should be.

In an ideal world, we believe it should all be evenly shared (and that's what we'd really like to try to teach our kids one day when they come along...)

But the thing is, we don’t live in an ideal world, and all the stuff isn’t evenly shared (how apparent was that when you had to answer the census question about how many hours you each spent doing non-paid work around the house!?).

Although, since no-ones keeping score (except the ABS, apparently!) it doesn’t really matter - and we’re ok with that.

How about you?
Do you share the workload evenly in your house?
Do you automatically fall into the “traditional” male and female roles around the house?
Does picking up your partner’s stuff drive you nuts?
What happens if things aren’t done in your house?

Let us know in the comments below 🙂

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Oh Husband, Why Won’t You Put Your Things Away?

Oh Husband, Why Won't You Put Your Things Away?

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Oh Husband, Why Won't You Put Your Things Away?

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Oh Husband, Why Won't Your Put Your Things Away?

I was talking to a friend recently when she mentioned her partner seems to have trouble putting his things away.

She then proceeded to ask if I could perhaps write a post on “How to Teach Your Son in His Early Years to not Make Piles of Crap” (her words, not mine).

I had a little chuckle to myself, and went on to explain to her that I hadn’t cracked the formula yet for husbands, boyfriends or significant others (you may remember a while back I wrote a post comparing how I do things around the house to how my husband does them, so I clearly don’t know what to do about it) but if I ever worked out the secret, I would be sure to let her know (plus, as a side note, picking up my husband's stuff doesn’t really bother me… most of the time, just don’t tell him that shhhhhh!)

Then I got to thinking about a post I read a while back by Ashley from Under the Sycamore called “A Simple Question for a Tidier Home”.

Ashley has 5 kids and says that she manages to keep her house tidy using 1 simple question:

"Who are you leaving that for?"

The first time I heard this, I thought it was brilliant!

All you need to do, every time you see one of your kids put something down, is ask them “Who are you leaving that for?” and hopefully it will spark a moment of reflection for them, and kick off the habit of putting their things away.

But will this work for husbands, boyfriends or significant others?

I can’t say I know the answer to that. I suspect it would, but I haven’t tried it myself, so I’ll be interested to hear if it does work.

At the very least, it couldn’t hurt to give it a try, right!?

Have you tried this little trick before? Did it work for you? Do you have another simple strategy to get your kids (or partner) to put their things away?

Look forward to hearing your thoughts!

P.S. If you haven't had the chance yet make sure you grab one of our memberships for exclusive access to our child behaviour strategies while they're still free 😉

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We Don’t Fight …and It’s Because I know My Place

We Don't Fight ...and It's Because I Know My Plan

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We Don't Fight ...and It's Because I Know My Place

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We Don't Fight ...and It's Because I Know My Place

It’s because my place is as an equal contributor in our household (my husband also knows his place, as the comedian who came up with that title).

In all seriousness, my husband and I rarely disagree on anything. I know a lot of people say that arguments are part of a healthy relationship. I don’t disagree with that. I just know that we don’t really have any, and I know our relationship is perfectly healthy too.

Why don’t we argue over things? I don’t know, maybe it’s because we don’t have kids, maybe it’s because we’re both passive-aggressive and avoid confrontation, or maybe it’s something else entirely.

There are certain things we do that I think make a difference, and I can’t say for a fact that this is why it works for us, but I’ll share them with you anyway (just in case).

  1. We talk to each other.

    Every day. Usually, we turn the TV off and sit at the dining room table and have dinner together. Sometimes, if we both have time, I’ll cook us breakfast and we’ll sit down and chat then too.

  2. We go on trips together.

    At least once a year we will go away on holiday overseas or a short break down south and just spend time together. We will invariably talk about our grand plans for the future and our ultimate goal to sail around the world on our yacht.

  3. We give each other feedback.

    It’s just a normal part of daily life for us. We give each other feedback on everything from the meal we’ve eaten at breakfast or dinner to the way I’ve folded the socks (anyone who knows Sam will know he’s very particular in how he likes his socks folded… hehe). But really, we’re always open to suggestions from each other as to how we can do things differently or better, and we take them on board.

  4. Lastly, it may come down to the fact that neither of us has a habit of raising our voices.

    It is not often that we will disagree with each other about something, but when we do, neither of us carry’s on about it. We listen to each other’s point of view, say what we think and move on. We’ve been together for over 6 years now and in all that time have never raised voices at each other. I hope that the things I listed above will continue for the next 60 years, but the kids are yet to come so… we’ll see.

How about you?

Do you and your partner argue a lot? Do your arguments help to strengthen your relationship? Do you wish you had other ways of dealing with issues so that you didn’t yell and scream? Look forward to hearing how things work for you!

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How I Do Things Vs. How My Husband Does Things

How I Do Things Vs. How My Husband Does Things

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How I Do Things Vs. How My Husband Does Things

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How I do things Vs. How my husband does things

We all know that "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" and that’s why we work so well together (or something like that). But what I really want to talk about is how astounded I get when my husband does things around the house so differently to me. Things that to me, seem so simple, yet he has such a hard time doing them.

For example, we both do these three things very differently:

  • Making the bed
  • Hanging the towels in the bathroom
  • Changing the toilet roll

Now I’m not to say one way is correct or better than the other, I am merely here just to make an observation of some things I have stumbled across my husband doing around the house, taken photos of, and compared to the way I do things. So, here we go:

How my husband makes the bed
How my husband hangs towels

Excuse the mess, we’ve been renovating our bathroom for…. Only 18 months now!

How my husband changes the toilet roll

In all fairness, he did actually put a fresh roll onto the roll-holder, he just couldn’t quite manage to put the old roll in the bin. I guess on top of the bin is close enough, right!?

Now I’m not complaining. I’m certainly not perfect myself and quite sure I do a few wacky things around the house too (no doubt my husband has seen this post and already started his own little catalogue of pictures as I type this).

But what I’m really interested in, is knowing whether other husbands do similar-type things around the house? Does your husband hang towels and make the bed the same way my husband does? Or does he have some other strange habits you’ve noticed??

Let us know in the comments below (you can use an alias if you want to make an anonymous comment) or pop it up on Instagram with the hastag #ohbeehavehusband

Can’t wait to hear your stories and see your pics!!

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