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The Due Date That Never Was

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The Due Date That Never Was

The 13th of March.

It’s a date that’s fairly well stuck in my mind. When I first found out I was pregnant, I did a quick calculation and worked out that would be my baby’s due date.

I went to see my GP pretty soon after finding out, and she did a quick calculation and determined the same date.

A few weeks later, I went for my first ultrasound. The lady did a few measurements, pointed out the heartbeat and came up with the same estimated due date.

I found myself having to repeat it quite a few times after that.

So, it became a date I couldn’t really forget.

I remember saying to a few people at the time “Man, I really I hope this baby doesn’t come on my Birthday, that would be inconvenient”.

Seems like a really stupid thing to say (or even think about) now.

I’ve heard a few people say that when you have a miscarriage, once you have gotten passed the due date, things start to get a little easier. You feel like you can finally “move on”.

Others talk about how they can’t help but think “I should have had my baby today”.

Personally, I try not to think about it at all.

I tried pretty hard not to think about it, but then I found myself writing this post, so obviously, I thought about it more than I thought.

My general philosophy is not to be too concerned about what “might have been” and just focus on “what is”.

In my mind, there is no “should have” or “could have” there are just the facts, and the fact was, there wasn’t going to be a baby arriving on March 13.

It’s interesting, because I talk about how March 13 is so ingrained in my brain.

Yet I’ve had another miscarriage since then, and I cannot, for the life of me, think what the estimated due date was for the second baby.

I don’t know why.

It’s not that I don’t care, it’s not that the first baby was more important that the second, it’s not that I’m trying to forget it, it’s… I’m not sure what.

But for some reason, this first date is stuck in my mind and I’m not sure I will be able to forget it.

I don’t think I want to either.

Maybe it’s just that the first one has such an impact on you, and then after that you get a little less attached and slightly more removed emotionally from the situation.

That’s kind of how I feel now.

Whatever will be will be, there’s not all that much I can do about it, and I’m OK with that.

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8 Replies to “The Due Date That Never Was”

  1. Totally understandable, it was your first pregnancy with an unknown of what would happen. You are strong, thank you for sharing each step of your way through that pregnancy. I truly believe everything happens for a reason and great things are yet to come.
    Stay positive and much love.
    X

  2. Oh, man… This one got me in the feels today 🙁 I have a friend who was pregnant at the same time her coworker was and their due dates were just a few days apart. My friend lost her baby and couldn’t return to work because sitting next to that woman and sharing in her pregnancy stages was too hard for her to bear. I understand. I think that we all grieve and mourn and express our sadness in different ways, and it’s important to just allow ourselves to feel all of those emotions. I don’t think the first baby held more value in your life, but I understand that the due date would be difficult to forget… maybe you can find a beautiful way to honor this memory? Sending so much XOXO your way. *HUGS*

  3. I am thinking of you and thanks for sharing. The loss of your baby has certainly left a big impression on your mind & heart & I know my first baby was such an experience of the unknown and I feel that is why you are experiencing what you are. Your 2nd babe was just as important, but that 1st loss was so great. Let’s hope your 50/50 pregancy comes to fruition soon. Lots of love A A

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