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We were both feeling really nervous in the days leading up to our first scan.
We knew there was a 50/50 chance that we wouldn’t see a heartbeat (because of the balanced translocation) and I was trying not be too optimistic in order to try and reduce the disappointment and sadness that would eventuate in the event we didn’t see one.
We were fortune that our OB had checked in with us a couple of weeks earlier and I had mentioned that I had booked a scan. He was quick to offer to do the scan himself (much cheaper than going to an imaging service) plus, if there was a problem, we would have to get in to see him ASAP anyway.
We had originally booked our scan for 9am in the morning, but since our OB was happy to do the scan for us, the only time we could get in was 4:30 pm.
So we made sure we were distracted all day (we had visited my parents which is a couple of hours drive away) so we had a couple of hours drive to do and a few other work related tasks.
Of course, half way through the trip, I remembered that I’d left my referral at home, so we just managed to squeeze in time to get everything done, pick up the referral and get to the OB’s office with about 10 minutes to spare *phew*!
I’m glad that we at least didn’t have to spend the whole day trying to distract ourselves knowing this was coming.
When we got there we didn’t have to wait too long (thank goodness, because I’m really not a fan of holding in all that water you have to drink before a scan!).
Usually when you go to an OB for the first time they ask a ton of questions, and then if they have a scanning machine, they may offer to take a look for you.
We were pretty fortune that our OB knows us pretty well now and said to us “come straight into the scanning room, let’s not talk until we’ve had a look” which I thought was nice… no point in delaying the inevitable.
I could feel my heart racing and I was feeling pretty anxious by that stage, until he popped the scanner on my stomach and straight away said “did you see that??”
I was so nervous I don’t think I was really looking at the screen properly (all I could see was blurs and blobs).
He instructed me to hold my breath for a few minutes (not the easiest thing to do when you’re anxious) and straight away I could see a nice bright flashing light on the screen indicating a little heartbeat.
He took a few measurements and said everything was looking good.
I would like to tell you there was a massive sigh of relief to follow but I felt like I had to hold my breath for an eternity so I was just grateful to suck in some air once that was finished.
Once the scan was completed our OB had a chat to us to say that while everything looks fine right now, the measurements are slightly behind what he would expect so he doesn’t want us to be too optimistic given that we won’t really know whether this foetus is viable for at least 5 more weeks.
So, with that in mind we have another 2 week wait until we can have another scan to check on how things are going.
I would like to say I’m feeling relaxed about where we’re at, but I still feel just as nervous as before.
I guess now we’re just back in the waiting game.
My focus this next two weeks will be to try daily pregnancy meditations (check out my youtube playlist here if you’re keen to give them a try too) in an effort to reduce some of the anxiety around what might happen next, and just try to be happy about where we’re currently at.
Until next time, feel free to comment with your thoughts, ideas and experiences below 😊
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